follow your bliss

Last day of the journal!

2011-03-04T19:23:00.004-06:00

So I have this journal that I got as a gift for my 18th birthday and for the past 5 years I've been writing my thoughts and events in my life into this little book. Well last night I filled that last page. It felt good. It felt like I had just finished something for the first time in a long time.

It made me think that I never put on here my yearly tradition of the things I've learned in the past year. So here ya go!

22 Things I've learned while 22

God loves me and there’s nothing I can do to earn it nor do I need to.
My number one goal in life is to be who God wanted me to be and I love working toward that goal.
I am the only one keeping me from my dreams and that’s a struggle everyday but at least now I realize this fact.
Delay the good for the great.
Where you are in life is because of all the choices you made so stop acting like a victim and take responsibility.
All it takes is one decision to change everything in your life.
My attitude when I went back to school second semester of freshman year was “I will do everything I’ve been too afraid to do and do it well” and that was my happiest time in life. I’m going back to that.
I have learned SOOOOO much about marriage in the last year and I’m not even married! Can’t wait to learn more, especially as a wife.
I love giving people gifts. It is the best feeling in the world to give something that makes them realize how much you care and know them.
It’s a good thing that I’m required to talk to people everyday so I don’t let my shy girl attitude stay very long.
If I don’t give myself enough quite time in the day so I can hear myself think, I go crazy.
Logan humbles me every day by how much he loves and cares for me.
I am so excited that my friends are starting families because now I get to be an aunt! It is the most fun to play with a baby, even if they cry.
Action and growth solves everything.
Working out is an issue for me if it’s not fun like when I was in show choir… I’m working on making it fun again so I can get the body I know is hiding in me.
Speaking something into existence is SO TRUE!
My mom is the strongest woman I know.
I’ve realized how messed up my thought process has been the past few years and especially 4 years ago and am amazed that I have friends, let alone a boyfriend who still love me.
It is not enough to want something with all your being, you have to put the action in to get it!
I refuse to settle for anything less than everything!
I am stronger than I think I am.
I am loving the fact that I get to do things most people won’t so I can live the way most people can’t even imagine! I am so looking forward to this year! 2011 and my 23^rd year is going to be MY YEAR!

Here's to my next journal and the next 5 years!

~Jenny

4 Years and counting!

2011-02-21T10:45:00.002-06:00

So we've passed the 4 year mark! That blows my mind! I found an entry in my journal the other day that almost made me fall on the floor laughing. It was from our 4 month anniversary and Logan had just told me that he loved me more than just puppy love lol. I was freaking out because I started looking at my Mom and Dad's relationship stats... met at 19 (I was 19 when I met Logan) Dad proposed within 4 months and Mom just said he realized he loved her and that he didn't want to let her go (Logan had just told me he really loved me and didn't want to loose me), they were "promised ringed" within about a year and then Mom planned their wedding in one semester! That last part freaked me out because I was silly enough to believe that Logan and I had to get married right then. I know I was crazy but hey I was only 19 and had a man actually care about me so I freaked. The funny part came when I was saying how we'd have to wait until after we both graduated college and that would be 4 years and I couldn't imagine being with someone for so long and didn't know if anyone would ever really wait that long to get married.

And now you see the humor! Four years later and we're still not married and still waiting... I'm happy that we are but it just kinda cracks me up that what I feared couldn't happen has happened and we're both okay.

I am still baffled at the idea of knowing when you're ready to get married. How on earth do you know? Still lost and that one but happy God has blessed me with a man who loves me and stretches me everyday.

I love you Logan! Here's to 4 more years ;-)

~Jenny

That girl...

2011-02-03T21:23:00.002-06:00

So over the past few years God has been working on me in an amazing way. I have had the Holy Spirit bless me by guiding my life and my areas of self study and growing my relationship with my family, my friends, Logan and God. In this time I can't believe how different I feel and think than I did as that young high school graduate going to college feeling lost in the world and even in my own body. I am now on a path of following the guidance of the Lord and I know that I am that girl. I am the girl. I am the girl who knows who she is in the Lord and wants to follow His light. I am the girl that Logan was praying for when he wanted a real relationship. I am the girl my parents were hoping for when they found out they were having their first little girl. I am the girl God wants me to be. I am speaking this into existence and will live it out everyday! Pray for me in the process :-)

~Jenny

And it's a great day to be alive!!!

2011-01-05T20:43:00.003-06:00

Ah a new year!!!

I'm not big into new year's resolutions but I am always excited about new plans!! I am so excited about where God is leading me this year! Could I use more exclamation points?! lol

Anyways.

I am now 23 and feel OLD! In my mind I still think I'm 18. You can imagine how odd I feel having a 25 year old boyfriend. But at the same time I feel like I should be further along in life. But I am running my own business with my boyfriend, have an apartment, car, cell phone, health insurance, car insurance, frog and rabbit

all to me. Now all we gotta do is get rid of that pesky job. Logan and I are moving ever closer to that goal and I think Logan and I will be very dangerous when we're free! For example ... when we were first dating at Purdue we would meet up and go downtown Lafayette and literally walk around and take funny pictures.... then go to the Lafayette mall and play with puppies. Then go to pizza hut get pizza and bread sticks and go to his apartment and watch movies. If we thought that was a fun day with no money I can only imagine what will do WITH money ;-)

Well till next time ....

~Jenny

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

2009-11-25T00:16:00.004-06:00

So it's that time of year where Black Friday is coming, Thanksgiving is upon us and that means my birthday is also coming up :-)

Where on earth did this year go? I still remember vividly my 21st bday and being sick and wanting to have a party but no one came and I wouldn't be much fun anyways. But then Logan made his apartment into a "club" for me and we bought some alcohol and made one drink which was good but... didn't even finish them. lol. Shows how much I care about alcohol I guess. But really I'm going to be 22? That's my lucky number and favorite number so hopefully that means good things! And now some people are asking what I want for my birthday and Christmas and honestly ... I haven't been out and about to even see what I want! lol I would much prefer gift cards (especially to Sears) so that I can actually have the pleasure of shopping! I miss it. Oh well. I don't really need anything I just want to see everyone, eat some good homemade food and play some games!

On a positive note we found out what is wrong with Logan. Apparently he has 2 pieces of bone that had broken off and just kinda slide around near his knee cap and that's why sometimes he can walk and sometimes he can't. That's really gross but apparently very easy to fix with surgery (yeah surgery yuck) but it's a small incision that they make on the side of his knee and they basically suck those pieces out and he can walk on it the next day. Sounds positive! Let's pray it all works out.

Oh and I redid the Christmas tree he got me since my last picture because it looked a little charlie brown ish lol.

Hope everyone has a blessed Holiday!

Love you all and God bless!

~Jenny

Getting to be that time of year

2009-11-18T23:05:00.003-06:00

So why is it that whenever the sun goes away all heck breaks loose? Seriously whenever fall and winter get here stress happens. But it's okay. I get way too excited for Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas(s) and of course New Years.

For one thing Logan has been having an issue with his knee for over a week now and last Friday it got so bad that it was swollen to the size of a grapefruit. We elevated it and put ice on it and made him rest which by the way is very difficult to do with someone who always wants to be doing something! Then we finally went to the Dr on Monday where he had to get an X-ray and blood work done. The Dr said the blood work was to test for gout, lupus... and all sorts of things that I knew darn well are NOT good if they come back positive. So I'm praying that the meds he was given work to reduce the swelling enough so that he can walk without pain and the xray will give the Dr a clue to whats going on. Really don't want surgery. That will not go over well.

So we've been keeping positive and watching movies and trying to keep occupied while doing the whole ice and elevation routine. I have a HUGE respect for mothers who are required to do this for their kids. I was helping voluntarily so I could've left any moment I wanted to I didn't but still it would be a different feeling if I were "locked" in that apartment.

I did get to visit with Grandma and Grandpa one day last week and Mom, Dad and Jessie on Sunday. I love my family. Grandma and Grandpa mom and I met at Bob Evans after I got off work and yay for warm cooked food that I didn't make! lol. I got to learn about how people in our family planned their weddings and such. Don't ask how we got on that subject I have no idea lol. Then with Mom and Dad and Jessie we got to eat lunch together which was delicious! It seems that after I moved out Mom decided to learn alot of new recipes because almost every time I go home it's something new! We all watched Transformers 2 together which was fun. I miss doing that as a family. Dad talking about the graphics, Jessie's butt ringing off the hook but telling everyone to shush because she's trying to hear and mom getting bombarded with Lilly needing attention. :-)

So I have yet to get a Christmas tree for my apartment which is sad. This year I have been especially craving one. Yes craving is the right word. I don't know if I'm "nesting" or something but I really want to do Christmas decorations and all that fun stuff. It doesn't help that at work the new way to entice customers is to make our store look as festive as possible so I've been wrapping fake presents and all that.

But guess what? I came home today from work and found a Christmas tree, ornaments and lights from Logan waiting for me! Oh my gosh definitely cried and danced and ripped open everything to put it together! I am now happily listening to Christmas music on Pandora and decorating. Couldn't be happier except if it were closer to Christmas ... or at least my birthday ;-)

Well that's my update for everyone. I hope the beginning of the holiday season is going well for everyone!

I love you all and God Bless!

~Jenny

Some updates

2009-09-17T12:41:00.007-05:00

After my friends wedding some of my old friends from high school and our boys went to Cheddar's which is by the way an amazing restaurant and we ordered margaritas :-) Don't worry we didn't drive!
Logan and I at the reception
The look out of the harbor at the business conference we went to in DC.
The hotel we stayed at was beautiful!!
The inside was like a mini city! Gorgeous!

So I haven't posted some new pictures in awhile so I thought I'd update you all!!!

Hope everything is going well and God bless!

~Jenny

Fall forward!

2009-09-03T12:08:00.003-05:00

So I can always tell when it's the end of the summer because my allergies go crazy!!! Sniffling and sneezing every 20 minutes is no fun! Luckily I've found some stuff to help reduce the frequency of my sneezing fits.

So most of my friends have gone back to school and are stressed like heck trying to get back into the swing of things like studying, waking up for classes and getting pencil smudges all over their hand from notes. (maybe that's just us lefty's that have to worry about that ha ha)

And then there's me! No school just full time work at you all know where and building Logan and my business! That is definitely keeping us busy! We have so many people in our business team getting things going and having fun it's just been amazing! We've made lot's of new friends which is nice since Logan and I are kinda alone here in good ole Ft Wayne. I'm most excited about our goals we've been setting for our next business conference in October and our very big goal in January!! Oh of you want to know more you can call and ask :-).

Anyways hope everyone is having a lovely end of summer/beginning of fall! If anyone wants to support Logan and I let me know and I'll give you the information.

Love you all!

God bless

~Jenny

On a side note there are some stray kittens and cats around my apartment complex!!! I've saved 3 kittens and sent them to the shelter so here's a pic :-)

June and wedding fever

2009-06-10T20:42:00.006-05:00

Oh it's that time of year! Where everyone and their mom decide to get married lol. But this year I have the busiest July/August possible. Okay so July 17-19 Logan and I will be in Washington DC for a business conference. July 25th is my friend from high schools wedding where I am hopefully doing the makeup for the bridal party-ps I love doing that :-). Then on August 1st a couple from work is getting married and again I am doing the makeup.

Poor Logan has to go with me to all of those too. Here's the issue though... I have never been to a wedding (in the past few years) where I wasn't in the wedding party. What on earth do I wear?? I only really have my old bridesmaid dresses which i think would be a bit much, my old showchoir dresses which obviosly wont be appropriate lol, and black dresses. Is it gothic or rude to wear black to a wedding? It's like mourning isn't it? Argh. I really don't feel like buying a new dress... simply because fort wayne stores dont have the best shopping selection lol.

In other news I am apartment hunting again. Oh that's another thing! My lease is up at the end of July too ... as if I didn't have enough to do at the end of the month! But I'm kind of unhappy with the no washer dryer and no dishwasher situation. So I'm on the hunt! too bad since last year prices at most places is up $100. Ouch.

Logan and I are also very busy with our business which is great! People seem to be definetly on the look out for a better life which means we have something in common! Yay! And I love actually having something to do with my day besides just "chill" with people. I like making a difference :-)

Well I'll end with some pics from last year... here goes another crazy summer!

The lovely bridal party (aka all my high school friends) for Shelly and Jared's wedding

Logan and I actually dancing at the wedding-had to drag him lol

Logan and I at his friends Ash and Sarahs wedding at the embassy

Ash and Sarah

~Jenny

Off to Pennsylvania!

2009-04-23T11:24:00.002-05:00

I am packing my suitcase and heading off to PA for a business conference with Logan and I'm soooo excited! I'm also fixing up my apartment and wondering if I might move. My lease is up in July and although I like this apartment complex there are a few drawbacks plus I would love a change. Maybe a place with a dishwasher!!! lol Well I know this is short but I must give Flopsy a bath and get Sly's cage clean so when Mom and Jessie take care of them this weekend they won't stink up their house!

~Jenny

Update!

2009-03-27T11:18:00.002-05:00

Okay so life has been crazy and I would love to put up pictures of all that has happened but one of the things is my computer is on the fritz as far as inputs go lol.

Okay gunna make this short and sweet ready, set, GO!

First things first

New years was great I was sooo happy to see my family all together :-) I really wish we could do that more often.

New semester in school is driving me crazy with full time hours at work plus full school schedule and doing the business with Logan.

Speaking of Logan! Our 2 year was on Feb 18th and for Valentines day and I thought our and he gave me a terrarium and a tree frog!!!! I was soo excited but embarrassed because we promised not to get each other anything ... I did get him a dragon ball z season that he wanted though (if you don't know what that is be thankful lol). Then on our 2 year we went to dinner at Biaggis and it was amazing! First of all we have never been to a nice restaurant so that was fun to get dressed up and "go out on the town". We also ordered wine because we wanted to toast and I had heard that their house wine was amazing. And for our toasting Logan asked me to say whatever I wanted to say about our relationship/feelings because "what he said was guna top mine anyways". So I said I was really happy we were doing so well lately and that I couldn't imagine anyone else who I could put up with for 2 years and who could also put up with me lol (yup that's me not able to have any romantic moment without making a joke of some sort). Then he said (this is me paraphrasing because it was too sweet for me to even write it out verbatim lol) "I love you and I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I know it's hard for you to trust without any proof so (places a small jewelry box on the table) I wanted to show you that I do want to plan a future with you and I want everyone to know that you're taken by someone who cares for you deeply. "

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. Don't worry it wasn't an engagement ring it was a beautiful promise ring!!! It is white gold with three diamonds and they're kinda sunk in so "I don't have to worry about hurting it at work when I'm getting down TVs" lol And Logan and his mom picked it out a month before our anniversary and Jessie and my mom knew about it!!! They are fishes for not warning me lol. But I guess it's a good thing :-) I'm really happy and I promise I'll put pictures up later.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas presents and if you wanted to know more information on the products or wanted to see what all Logan and I have to offer let me know and I'll give you a website to go to. That was random I know but just wanted to put that in there so I didn't forget.

Hope all is well with everyone else and that everyone is as excited as I am for spring to finally be here!!

I love you all and God bless!

~Jenny

21 and crazy

2008-12-09T20:04:00.006-06:00

So I am officially 21!!!!

Yes be jealous, feel old, feel young... whomever is reading this feel as you may :-)

It was a great birthday! First I got to sleep in then go get my new license (by the way you are not allowed to smile or show your teeth in your ID anymore... odd rule). Then I took myself shopping... didn't buy anything but had fun none the less. Then Logan picked me up (and brought a tiara that i had to wear) and we drove to my parents house where Grandma, Uncle Marc, Jessie and Mom had dinner with us. I was served WINE!!!! Sorry I was excited lol. Then presents and cake came and went thank you to everyone they were very much appreciated!

Then Logan took me to walmart and gave me $40 to buy alcohol. That was interesting a newly 21 year old who doesn't know anything and a 23 year old who doesn't know much more about alcohol staring down the isle in walmart lol. But finally we got some fun things to make and went back to his apartment. I wanted to drop off my presents and check on mr flopsy and logan told me to take my time he had my present waiting for me whenever I come over. So about 20 minutes later I go over to his apartment and when I open the door, don't worry I knocked first ;-) He had music going and had decorated his whole apartment with happy birthday stuff and had planned out our whole evening with possible drinking games and other fun things to do. I couldn't have asked for a better surprise.

Some "beer pong" except it was energy drink pong because I hate beer lol

All the snacks/surprises he had waiting for me :-)

My amazing boyfriend infront of the "Happy 21st Birthday" sign in his place

Sorry for the kissing pick but he's an amazing guy I couldn't be happier :-)

~Jenny

Rock the Vote!

2008-11-04T14:11:00.002-06:00

So I spent the night at my parents house last night to take care of Jessie and Lilly while mom and everyone went to PA. Rest in peace Uncle Jack.

It was interesting. We all slept in mom's bed and by all I do include the pup who decided that I am a permanent head rest because I woke up every 2 hours with her sleeping on me in any odd position lol. Then today I went to go vote. I figured since it was in Roanoke that it wouldn't be that busy but OH MY!!! I waited an hour to get in! And the majority of the people in the line were retired people that probably shouldn't be standing out in the sun for an hour.

But here's a prayer to God that the right people win!!!!!

~Jenny

Lovely Fall!!

2008-10-27T11:32:00.002-05:00

So... the lovely fall weather is making me very happy!!!! A little too much rain lately but the leaves are pretty! And this weekend was fun because Logan and I went to Hilgers and picked out some cute little pumpkins to decorate our apartments :-) Also we saw the Hulk movie... it was definetly better than the other one but still a little lacking in the story line department. Well I'm off to work now ... tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut hopefully it'll look good!

~Jenny

Save the Last Dance for Me

2008-10-03T22:47:00.004-05:00

"You can dance-every dance with the guy
Who gives you the eye, let him hold you tight
You can smile-every smile for the man
Who held your hand neath the pale moon light
But don't forget who's takin' you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darlin' save the last dance for me..."

Wouldn't it be great if you could trust someone that much? But how do you forget about a persons past... and who their exs are and who they used to be and how they used to think they were in love with them? My friend has recently found out about her boyfriends past relationships and how certain ones were more serious than what she thought. Her boyfriend is a great guy... he's just made mistakes in the past with the girls he dated. How can she forget about that everytime she's with him she thinks about what he used to say to those other girls and how he used to feel about them... It's going to drive her insane. But I must admit I have an issue getting past the whole "ex" thing as well. And I think everyone does. My mom and dad still to this day bring up Claire. The girl my dad liked on the europe trip where he met my mom. Dear Lord! It's been how many years ago and they're still talking about that! I know they're joking about it... well at least that's how they play it off but geeze. I really don't want to do that... I duno maybe I'm a crazy 20 year old so nieve and young but I could use some advice if anyone has it....

I know some times things take effort....

So I guess it's worth it...

:-)

~Jenny

New Life

2008-09-30T13:38:00.002-05:00

So I have officially finished my apartment!!!! Yay! It only took me... well more than a month lol but it was worth it because it's starting to feel like a real apartment not just a college dorm. Good news though! I got full time at best buy and a raise to go with it! Wahoo! But I'm training everyone in my department... which I'm sorry why should I have to train my supervisor and my senior when they get paid more than me? Hmmm.... but still thankful for the position! It would be nice if I wouldn't have to plan my money down to the last penny.

Other news... it's kind of odd going back home after I've moved out. Yeah Jessie has moved into my room and painted it pinky red so that's obviously odd lol but also... It's weird feeling like a guest in your house. I actually couldn't get into the house the other day because at night dad always locks the door which used to be fine because I was already home but since I have never had a key I couldn't get in and mom left her cell in the kitchen so she couldn't here it when I called... just odd to be locked out. Lilly is always happy to see me which makes me happy and sad at the same time. I forgot how much nicer it is to have an animal that can walk over to you and cuddle with you. Sure I let Floppsy run around my apartment but he just likes to pretend my couch is a tunnel and explore that lol. Not much of a cuddler.

My friend situation is odd too. Since now all of my friends in Fort Wayne are married I don't get to see them hardly at all. Nicole is constantly going to the mayo clinic to try and figure out what's wrong with her and when she is home she's doing things with her husband. Then Shelly works a full time job and is a full time student for accounting which keeps her busy and then Jared does the same thing so whenever they have a chance to see each other they want to be alone so... not a lot of time for Jenny. Oh and they have married friends who they go on trips with and I cant compare to that so ... kinda lonely.

So that means I get to bug Logan a lot lol. He's working 55 hours a week though on average and since Best Buy's idea of full time is 35 hours a week I have lots of time to go grocery shopping and do errands. I swear I feel like I live at Walmart because of how much I go there. But Logan and I did have some good times the last few weekends. We went to the Johnny Appleseed festival which was fun and something different to do. We got to walk around and see kids playing everywhere and reminisce about when we were kids going to do it (on a side note his mom is a saint for taking 3 boys to a place where the crafts for sale include pop guns and wooden swards). Then this last weekend I actually had a Friday night off so he surprised me by taking me to a drive in movie theater in Huntington! It was amazingly fun! He already had the chairs, blankets and snacks in his car when I got home from work. And we got lucky because it was the last weekend and all their snacks where buy one get one free! Lots of chocolate for us!

Anyways I must go clean my apartment-yes that's another thing I seem to have to do all the time. Hope all is well with everyone and God Bless!

~Jenny

Moving!

2008-06-19T09:52:00.002-05:00

So I found an apartment! It's beautiful and it's a really good deal! I'm sooooooooo excited! Of course this comes at the most inoppurtune time. Mom is trying to redo the house for some inspection, my best friend is getting married and I'm planning the bachelorette party and the wedding stuff with her, and I'm still only working one job. But the good news is I've applied to over ten places and gotten call backs from a few so I'm hoping something great comes along.
~Jenny

To lighten your day...

2008-05-06T09:53:00.002-05:00

The Good Husband

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcoholat all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he wasfeeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he seesis a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing infront of him, all clean and pressed.He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the houseHe takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staringback at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging onthe corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and akiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove,I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight.I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son.. whathappened last night?""Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind You fellover the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway,and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he askedhis son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? Ihave a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"His son replies, "Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and Whenshe tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'mmarried!!"Broken Coffee Table $239.99Hot Breakfast $4.20Two Aspirins $.38Saying the right thing, at the right time. PRICELESS

Busy Busy Busy!

2008-04-09T08:18:00.002-05:00

So working 60 hours a week is quite crazy but it might just pay off... I found a car I really like! Also planning on getting an apartment next month so wahoo!!!! Only problem? I literally have NOTHING for an apartment. I don't have a couch, dinning table, chairs, plates, cups, cookware, bakeware... hmmm this could get expensive haha. I do have bedroom furniture so I'm not completly lost.

I am very excited however that I am going to Washington DC next weekend!!!! Oh so very happy about that. I'm also excited to ride a bus for however many hours it takes to get there... haha should be interesting.

Well wish me luck Logan's birthday is this weekend and I have a feeling I have to plan something ... hmmm little nervous but he'll love his presents I'm sure.

Love you all and you're in my prayers!

~Jenny

Shaking

2008-03-07T16:49:00.000-06:00

Stressed to the max. Trying to find a car is my least favorite thing to do in the world because I have no idea what's a deal and what's a rip off. Also I'm looking for a car that wont die so much (wishful thinking I know).

Also stressed because at my work I am now the head of shipping which isn't the job i wanted. I was supposed to be the office girl. Paperwork, phonecalls, accounting all that good stuff but nope. Kinda upset. Oh well. Such is life.

Oh and I've been working on my budget and all that and although I wish to very badly I can't afford to quit best buy :-( It's not that it's soo bad there. Besides corrupt managers which you'll find everywhere you go, it's actually pretty cool. Plus the discount and all the knowledge I get is great! But I just hate working 52 hours a week. It's draining me. And after my accident I haven't been able to work full time at either job. Though this week was my first full week back at MJC and I must say I'm exhuasted.

Oh and by the way I HAVE to buy a car this weekend. How's that for pressure? The insurance gave me a rent a car but since I'm not 25 my mom hasta drive it and so I've been stuck with her taurus with really scary brakes. Honestly I get in a car accident and the first car I drive has subpar brakes? Little shaken haha. But it's all my family could do so it's fine.

Another stress? My boyfriend logan and my one year was the day after the accident and ... yeah. Obviously we couldn't do much so we're hoping to redo it next weekend. I have no idea what we're doing or how we're guna plan it.

Ugh! I must go find a stress releaver.... maybe I'll go get my hair done that makes girls happy doesnt it? lol Don't know how I can afford it but I have some gift cards left from Christmas so theres a start....

~Jenny

Alive

2008-02-19T22:27:00.000-06:00

So I am alive. I know my family has been telling everyone about my accident but I wanted to let everyone know I'm okay. On Sunday afternoon at about one thirty I believe I went to go pick up jessie from her friends house. All I remember is driving down the gravel road to the intersection . . . and that's all I remember.

After that I just remember waking up in the ambulance looking at an old classmate from showchoir who was taking my vitals I believe and then my mom was sitting in there too. I thought it was a dream. They kept asking what day it wasand what my name was and for the life of me I couldn't remember what day it was but I passed the name test. We got to the hospital and they were finally able to put an IV in me (im known to have difficult veins) and then they had to take the glass out of my back and arm ... and everywhere else. They also took me to have my head scanned but if you asked me what kind of scan I wouldnt be able to answer you.

I did finally accept that the accident did really happen and that I was the only one hurt and jessie was still at her friends. The bad thing is Logan was supposed to call me at about the time the accident happened and he and I were going to hang out. SO since I left my cell at home (thinking I'd only be gone for 20 mins) Logan had no idea what was going on for 4 hours. I kept asking my parents to call him to let him know what was going on but they made a good point that if all they could say was I was in the hospital and had been in an accident he might have freaked.

The hospital finally released me and I got to wear some very attractive scrubs home since they didnt know how much glass was still in my clothes. We got my pain meds and headed home. My mom called Logan at that time and luckily he didnt freak out too bad. He did come over right away.

Now I am doing better but we did go see my car today and that freaked me out a bit. I can see why mom and dad were surprised I wasn't really injured. I'm still unable to sit up for longer than 45 mins and I fall alseep at least every hour and a half. And I walk funny. I go to the doctor tomorrow to get a check up so we'll see if I'm doing alright.

Here's to surviving!!!!

~Jenny

What I've Learned

2007-12-04T00:57:00.001-06:00

Okay so last year I decided to write 18 things i learned while I was 18... and I thought it'd be a good idea to do it again so here it goes.

1. I am incapable of being a "casual dater"

2. My family and friends mean more to me than I could ever explain.

3. People make promises they cannot keep. It doesn’t mean they’re lying it’s just that they are not mature or capable enough to keep those promises.
4. Your life means nothing without people to share it with.

5. You cannot no matter how hard you try change someone... they are who they are so just get used to it.

6. I am never going the person I want to be without God's help

7. Life goes on. You make mistakes and they seem like they're going to ruin your life... but everyone makes mistakes and I've yet to see anyone die from failing a class.

8. I will never be one of those people who only halfway loves their friends/family/bf whatever. I am either not interested or I’m in it for the long haul.

9. I need music in my life to be truly happy.

10. I can't wait to turn 21 so I can drink... even though I probably won't it'd be nice to know that I can.

11. Relationships are NEVER easy lol and the reason is because it's hard to understand another person and try to think of them before you

12. Money is way too darn important in this world. I wish I could just do what I want without having to worry about paying bills but such is life

13. Life is what you make it. So what if things are not exactly how I thought they'd be... sometimes that's a good thing because what I thought would make me happy doesn't even come close to the happy accidents that happen.

14. Not spending everyday with someone doesn't mean that you don't care about them. Sometimes distance strengthens a relationship.

15. All I really want is to be self sufficiant. I want to have my own apartment, pay my own bills and have a full time job I can count on.

16. Never make someone a priority in your life who will only makes you an option
17. I am a hopeless romantic hidden in a realists mindset. But no one wants someone to break past my barrier more than I do.

18. True love waits. I know I wrote that last year but I learned how important that was this year.

19. You can't wait around forever to get what you want. No one is going to help you because everyone is too busy thinking about themselves so go out and get it yourself!

I'm officially no longer a teenager... it feels good too :-)Here's to turning 20 and waiting to turn 21!

~Jenny

New Job?!!

2007-11-27T18:36:00.000-06:00

So I was in the hair salon yesterday waiting for my appointment and the lady at the desk (Barbara) asked me how things were going. I told her that I was home from Purdue and that I was staying here and working at best buy but not getting a lot of hours. She then asks me if I was looking for a full time job. I said yes and at that exact moment a woman walked out of the tanning bed and Barbara said "Hey I found you someone to work full time for you!" As it turns out this lady owned a children's clothing business and needs a receptionist of sorts to deal with paper work and orders and shipping and so forth. And today I went to go see what the business was like and ...

I got the job!!!!!

Well I start on Monday and come in 9-5 and see if I like it for sure and after that I'm in! Can you believe it! All I've been wanting for so long is an actual full time 9-5 job and now I have an amazing opportunity to have it! I'm ecstatic! I couldn't thank God for a better chance!

~Jenny

So happy!

2007-11-09T03:04:00.000-06:00

Great news! Grandma came home from the hospital today, I have a straight A+ in math and I figured out where to get my second job :-)

Oh and less than a month till my birthday wahoo!!!!

~Jenny

Riddle me this

2007-10-29T22:59:00.000-05:00

I have decided life is too completly complicated. I have always wanted to go to Purdue ever since I was a little girl. Of course the reason I wanted to go to Purdue was because I wanted to be a vet... so I've been thinking lately since I changed my major to business management... maybe I should change my idea of where to go to school as well. Nothing is final yet but recent events in my life have made it quite difficult to leave Fort Wayne and even more difficult to live in West Lafayette. I will definetly be praying on it.

On a happier note my friend Jenn had her baby Jaylynn Annette Cox on October 11th and she was 5 and a half pounds and 18 inches. She's completly adorable!! I got to go see her the other day and I have completly fallen in love with her. Yay for babies :-)

Jaylynn

Jenn and I

Looking for a sublease!

2007-09-30T17:48:00.001-05:00

So I'm in the process of trying to find a sublease for next semester at Purdue. (well technically I'm still planning on going to Ivy tech but I want to live in West Lafayette) The process is a little more difficult than I expected. I was lucky enough to find a lovely attachment to Facebook called "market place" where people can put up their needs for anything! So I've been looking through 75 different listings trying to find an apartment that's reasonably priced and that accepts rabbits as pets (yes I get to bring Mr flopsy) and I have it narrowed down to 7 options. My favorite though? There's one that's a 2 story apartment with 2 living rooms and kitchens and I would have my own bathroom... oh I hope I can get that one :-)
I must go do homework now though... yay for 3 papers due in one week.

~Jenny

I do

2007-09-25T18:30:00.000-05:00

I was able to see one of my oldest friends get married on Friday. I never thought I would be one of those people who cried at weddings but oh my I balled. So here's a tribute to the happy couple!

Time to update!

2007-06-19T01:16:00.000-05:00

Summer is officially here and I'm working at Best Buy. I work only 20 hours a week when I asked to be full time... grrr. But that does give me time to spend with family and friends and my boyfriend and of course work on cleaning and organizing my room. I had never realized before how terrible of a packrat I am! I have things from elementary school still! That's a bit much I think. . . well I'm off to walmart to try and buy some organizers!

~Jenny

Making progress

2007-05-02T11:54:00.000-05:00

One final down 3 to go and the good news is that I just recieved a phone call from Best Buy asking me to come in for an interview! I'm very excited!

Also I went to find ideas of how to organize my room. Did you know how expensive those organizers are? Goodness gracious! Owell once I get a job that pays anything better than kroger (which isn't that hard) then I can afford to buy those lovely devices.

Just a random question... does anyone know when the whole change to HDTV thing happens? You know how everyone has to buy a new tv just because the jerks decided not to make their way of broadcasting able to adapt to older tvs? grrrrrrrrrrr

~Jenny

Last Weekend

2007-04-28T14:49:00.000-05:00

My last weekend before the lovely finals. I hate finals week... it's like waiting around for the inevitable. The good news is though that I'm starting to apply for jobs. I know I should've done that durring spring break but I was in Neon so that wasn't a possibility. I cannot decide where to apply. I know I should just apply everywhere and see who calls me back for an interview but the question is where can I apply that actually pays decently? I worked at Kroger for 2 years and was even a Front End Supervisor and still only made $7.40 but because of the union I worked an hour free every week. I'd love to work a factory job especially at Vera Bradley but I have no idea how to apply there. I've looked all over the internet and talked to so many people and still no answers. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Any ideas would be much appreciated from you :-)

~Jenny

PS in exactly one week i'll be in chicago seeing wicked!!! ahhh i can't wait!

Bring it on home

2007-04-27T00:44:00.000-05:00

So I've finally decided something... I am going to come home for school next year. I am just spinning my wheels here at Purdue and to be honest I'm not doing so well. Not to say Purdue is a bad place it's just not for me right now. So I have officially applied to IPFW for some summer classes and the fall term. Hopefully I'll get in and then be able to work a decent job while going to school and helping my family with the whole puppy situation. This is the first decision I have been happy with in months so please don't think I'm wimping out by going home... I honestly am doing something that will be best for me. I'm excited! I'll get to be with my family again! I won't have to wait months to see them! Plus I'll be able to work at a job which is really good for me, it gives me discipline and a sense of pride to bring home money to help support my family.

So wish me luck during finals because this will be my last week at Purdue for awhile!

~Jenny

Help please

2007-04-25T15:13:00.000-05:00

Oh it's that time of year when extra credit is all we can do to fix grades . . . so I was wondering if people could fill out this survey for me so I can write a paper for my psych. Thank you for helping!

~Jenny
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please read the following statements and use the scale to indicate whether you agree or disagree.

1. Technology today such as cell phones, email, AIM and text messages helps bring people closer together because they strengthen communication.

1------2------3------4----

--5------6------7
Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree

2. Having such a variety of ways to contact people makes you feel closer to people.

1------2------3------4------5------6------7
Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree

3. Having the variety is actually a hindrance on the feeling of being connected to other people.

1------2------3------4------5------6------7
Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree

4. The technology is good because you can stay in touch with someone without actually having to see them.

1------2------3------4------5------6------7
Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree

5. It is better to get in touch with people using technology rather than face to face.

1------2------3------4------5------6------7
Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree

6. You can feel just as connected to someone you see all the time as you can to someone you email/IM/text.

1------2------3------4------5------6------7
Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree

7. Technology has no effect on the feeling of closeness to other people.

1------2------3------4------5------6------7
Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree

8. People should use the technology only when they cannot meet people face to face.

1------2------3------4------5------6------7
Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree

9. You tend to feel isolated from people if you talk to people using only aim/email/text messages.

1------2------3------4------5------6------7
Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree

10. Technology has no affect on how close you feel to someone.

1------2------3------4------5------6------7
Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree

Lets go!

2007-04-22T16:12:00.000-05:00

This is the beginning of dead week... the week before finals when profs aren't supposed to give you any tests or new material so that you can study your butt off for next week. Evidently professors never get the same memo we do about the whole no test/material thing because every teacher has decided to give me a "quiz" (which just happens to be worth the same as a test) this week. I definetly love how Purdue has a rule book that students must obey and yet the teachers can completly ignore it.

The one good news about getting throuth these past two weeks is that at the end of it all I get to go to Chicago to see Wicked with Logan. That was the best Valentine's day present I've ever recieved and I can't wait to spend the whole day in Chi-town with my boyfriend. It's amazing that after all the bad stuff that has happened this year I have found someone who is unbelievably sweet and caring to me. I'm so lucky!I can't wait for the adventures of this summer!

~Jenny

Moving forward

2007-04-19T14:18:00.000-05:00

So I realized that yesterday's blog might have seemed like I was down in the dumps so to speak... but really I was just thinking about the differences that can happen in a year... if I hadn't come to Purdue I would not have realized how much I really do care for my family, I never would've met the amazing people at St Thomas Aquinas-my church and I never would've went on the Neon Kentucky missions trip. That was one of the best experiences of my life and I don't think I would've appreciated it as much if things had not "gone wrong" earlier this year. I love being in church now and I love singing at the mass and I love now knowing people at church. It's the one place on campus I can always go to without feeling afraid. It's my place to go when I'm nervous before an exam(so you know where I'll be during finals in two weeks!). It's also where I go when I'm happy and want to praise God for the gifts He's given me. So yes this year has been hard, I'm not where I thought I would be but I am better off for it.

The amazing view after I climbed the tallest mountain in Neon!

My first waterfall ever! Also in Neon Kentucky

My inspiration

~Jenny

Have you ever...

2007-04-18T16:13:00.000-05:00

Have you ever done that thing where you think about exactly what you were doing at this time one year ago? I do that kind of alot and I can't believe how much a person can change in one year. For instance... last year I was a senior in high school, planning my prom night. I was so focused on the fact that I was getting out of high school forever and that next I would be headed off to college where I'd be free to do whatever I want and I'd finally be an "adult." I thought that my job at kroger wouldnt last till the beginning of summer, I figured I'd get to work at starbucks or best buy. I thought my friends would always keep in touch, always have this closeness we always had... and lastly I thought I was in love with an amazing guy.

Isn't it funny how naive people are?

Now here I am a freshman in college... thinking that I should've taken a year off like I wanted to. Wishing I could be home with my family I once thought I could live without seeing everyday... and I'm in a new relationship and only have 3 friends here at college while my high school friends are off in different areas of Indiana and Ohio.

I thought it was so complicated in high school... that college would be this great freedom and now here I am feeling like I'm trapped. Irony works in mysterious ways huh? lol

It's not that I don't like college... it has it's perks for sure I just now think that I would be more apt to accept college if I had stayed home a year and just worked like I wanted to. But had I done that, I probably would've still been stuck at kroger-hating my job, my boyfriend would've still cheated on me, and my friends still would've left for college without me. So ... was this really the better road? I don't know ...

~Jenny

Oh ps I'm sorry but it's bad weather right now and that means I have way too much time to sit in my dorm and think about life and such lol

New do...

2007-04-17T13:23:00.000-05:00

So it's time for a change... a new hair do is in order I believe. My boyfriend surprised me on Valentine's day by buying me tickets to the broadway show Wicked in Chicago for the end of the school year. I'm so excited it will be my first broadway show ever and I'm in love with Chicago so it'll be super fun lol. (not to mention shopping on michigan ave!)

Anyways, I usally get tired of my hair after a few months so it's that lovely time again! I'm thinking I already like my length of hair I just need to add something new to the overall design... like more layers/new color? Don't know yet but I'm open for suggestions!

~Jenny

Wasting time...

2007-04-16T13:06:00.000-05:00

Switchfoot is one of the more mainstream christian bands today and Purdue was lucky enough to host their concert yesterday. Some of my friends and I had been looking forward to it all week so we made sure we got there on time... only to be dissapointed. We got there at 3... and sat on the lawn for almost 3 hours only seeing 2 opening bands that were lower than subpar... so we decided to leave with our free tshirt and go find some food.

Of course about a half hour after we left the real band played and were supposedly "freaking awesome man!" as said by my friend lol.

But hey I got a chance to sit out in the sun, get a free (although extra large) t-shirt and a free bag which i plan on using when we hopefully go camping this summer!

~Jenny

In the market...

2007-04-13T17:57:00.000-05:00

So life as a college freshman is ten times more stressful than I thought it would be back in high school... so as a way to "unwind" after this school year Logan suggested that we take a camping trip/explore indiana. I think this sounds like fun except for the fact that I have no idea where we should go? Or even if someone could go with us? I would love to visit some zoos and Logan really wants to go fishing/hiking...

Does anyone have some cheap ideas? Actually any ideas would be better than nothing lol.

Places I've thought of...

Pokagon State Park-only problem I can't seem to find an official website for it so I don't know what all is there, the prices... etc.
Indiana Dunes-will it be too cold for that in may?
Potawatomi Zoo
Chain o Lakes
Washington Park Zoo

And that's all I have so far... please help me!

Thank you :-)

~Jenny

Starting anew

2007-04-11T13:59:00.000-05:00

For the last two years I have had a bad experience on Easter for different reasons... this year however I was determined to have an amazing Easter and guess what?? I did! Though the credit for that goes to a certain easter surprise that arrived on friday... a brand new puppy (yet to be named). She is full of energy and loves to cuddle. The family has already fallen for her and the best part was opening the door on Easter sunday and showing her to Uncle Marc and Grandma and Grandpa and Betty. (Grandma's expression was probably the best out of all-pure shock lol)

It was a good day getting to see the family I havent seen in quite awhile... that's why it was so hard to leave. But the good news is only one month of school left then I get to come home and work a billion hours aweek... but at least I'll be home at last after this very long and too eventful year at college.

~Jenny

A tribute

2007-03-23T22:34:00.000-05:00

For my dear Angel... you gave us 6 years of happiness, laughs, entertainment.... the list could go on. You were loved every day of your life and we will all miss you terribly... Goodbye my dear companion who meant so very much to me... to all of my family

Off to Spring Break

2007-03-10T03:55:00.000-06:00

Today I'm heading off to a missions trip hopefully this will let me know how I like the whole aspect of volenteering... wish me luck!

Break free

2007-03-08T17:28:00.000-06:00

College is not as easy as everyone thinks... nor as hard. Yes that statement contradicts itself but as Walt Whitman says "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes."

If you really know what you want to do with your life and have a passion for it... then college really isn't so hard. You go to your classes, you get involved in the right clubs, even volenteer at the proper places and you're good to go.

If however, you are like me and have no idea what you want for your life college can be like a prison. I go to classes I do not care for, join clubs that have nothing to do with a possible future, and everyday I have an overwhelming feeling of restlessness and wanting to break free.

This is why today I began my application for Americorps. It's the peace corps but only in the United States. I figured this was a better alternative to joining the Marines or Air force which i have been seriously considering for a year now. I decided against it though because of my family's negative reaction to the thought of me being "in war". I have not decided where I would like to go (i can chose anywhere in the 50 lovely united states or even a few american territories) but I do know that I would like to feel like I'm doing something worth while...

Any advice please let me know